| Wednesday, April 25th, 2007 |
| 7:28 pm |
Yes, I'll take it
I don't want to change your mind, I don't want to waste your time. I just want to know you're alright. I've got to know you're alright; You are young, darling For now, but not for long... ---------------------------- my toes tremble wherever i go. breathing heavily through the halls, head down, hands in pockets. i see myself wherever i go. i love something i'll never reach, i see myself where ever you go. i love someone out of reach |
| Tuesday, February 13th, 2007 |
| 4:18 pm |
sometimes i think we've been given these handfuls of thoughts that twist into ropes that twist around our waists and try to pull us back to the heart of the truth, and the stuggle to retain of comfortable postiyion in bed cuase me to ask myself the questions that sting and squeeze all that i thought to be correct and holy. Along teh way, as my mind churns over this new territory of confused maturity, connecting and swallowing the evidence of something much larger we'll stumble again upon eachother with flushed cheeks and wide eyes. At night I lay all these things out in front of my closed eyes and i allow as much as i can, where it is clean, open, without bias or jaded opinions. i think about truth and maturity-- past present and future...how with our hands we try to find the words that our heads can't pronounce, with our bodies we'll do wht our bones tell us. the gut feelings, the clenches fists, the melted organs, teh rythm, the seeing and everything that amonts to teh smiling behind my eyes all reflected in your face. regardless of everything else i've beem told this is here. this is now, where i want to be. so, i will will share with you all that i know and have. i will share with you all that i can within the time that we are given here on earth. |
| Wednesday, January 17th, 2007 |
| 8:23 am |
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| Tuesday, January 16th, 2007 |
| 8:01 pm |
okay. so diet pills aren't the answer.
i see them on a quest for happiness. sometimes i hope i find it before they do... and wave it in their face. so, tell me if this i standard? could you tell me? am i okay with standard? is change a nessesity at the moment? change is so easily at our fingertips at all times, but the factors that influence us daily keep up from pulling the strings and turning the knobs that open new warp holes into different futures. what factor affects me most? i'm always feeling so green and underdeveloped, before i take my hand off the door knob i convince myself that here is where i stay until the proper leafs fall off. until i've collected all the coins i can from my surroundings. until i unlock all the extra endings. |
| 7:59 am |
a lot of people have their theories on life...
666 i dont know i want to think but there's nothing to think about. people walking behind me scare me. bad. sometimes i wish. all the time i used to wish. i've got nothing to wish for. theres nothing to think about there's nothing to contemplate, and that turns into me sitting in a room poking at mold and clipping my hair i thinkit's because i'm happy. happy? not that kind of happy. no one is smiling 666 i've got that feeling in my gut that keeps my mind still,numb,calm. happy? no. >>>collected. yes |
| Thursday, October 26th, 2006 |
| 1:40 am |
burnt taste buds
wet. warm. a finger on the brain. i forgot why i brought you hear, it was important i thought it was, anyways. a snowball in the face. senile fingers dropped my body ontop of my bible, platic wrapped my unconcious and told me to sit still until someone comes and gets me. how fucking long does it take to come back from the book store? it is obviously unconfronted fears and broken bellies that brought me here. only brothers, booze, bike rides, breasts and beards can take me away again |
| Thursday, August 31st, 2006 |
| 6:56 pm |
seismopoligraphicaltography sappy tree bark sounds great. |
| Wednesday, August 30th, 2006 |
| 10:54 pm |
yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. a thousand times. yes. |
| 10:47 pm |
salad days.
one day we'll look back on these first few week and laugh..... o god please make this better. make it ok. the villagers don't know any better. when they see the crystals in their eyes they can only assume it's a deity. --------------- this time the feeling comes from the back of my head. it grows and puts pressure on the inner walls of my skull. like a balloon it grows. selfishly and needingly, it tickles the wires in my brain, it contorts the muscles of my face. it grows and grows until god leaks out of my nose and eyes. from there it transcends all aspects of human capabilities and it takes on a form of it's own. i don't know what it is but it's there. a cousin of fear, a brother of trust, a daughter of agape. Current Mood:  *** |
| Monday, August 21st, 2006 |
| 7:43 pm |
what ideas! how strange!
making maps of the middle east. what's the temperature going to be like in september? i'm so tired. i'm feeling so out of my body. hopefully only good things will come from now on. i'll keep my thoughts to myself yes yes yes yes Current Mood:  excited |
| Sunday, August 20th, 2006 |
| 4:33 am |
I'm one hell of a girl.
in the shallow waters of a creek toddlers grab at minnows. they explore the algae covered underwater world while parents look on to make sure no one gets too much water in their mouths. and is it in this? behind these atoms. O! horizontal thought processes, giddy quotations and thy hair caught on my knuckles. this has been felt before, this has been heard before. take me back to embarrassed breathing and possible rainfall on the window pane. because that's what sounds solitary and immaculate. "...and in the end they all materialize into a satin rope that wraps around my womb and tongue and squeezes until God himself comes out of the corners of my eyes..." Current Mood: holy (how wonderful) cow |
| Friday, August 18th, 2006 |
| 2:22 pm |
pay attention, kids
"do you like raisins?" "why do you ask? do you have some?" (laughing)"no, it was a pick up line...but it got messed up" "try it again then" "do you like raisins?" "yes. yes?........oh. no, no i dont" "then you wanna date?" Current Mood: tension aches&pains |
| 1:51 pm |
standing kiss boy girl on rock anniversary kissing nature forest river boy girl woman man embrace |
| Saturday, August 12th, 2006 |
| 11:28 pm |
"it is a fearful thing to love that which can be touched by Death" Current Mood: super awsome sauce |
| 3:42 am |
there's got to be some SENSIBLE reason for all the giddy feelings. there is, of course, a biological reason, but they're not sensible! they're just biological. it's like a balloon's going to pop in your throat, or you're guts are going to drop out of your mouth. flushed cheeks, all you're sense goes and hides is the corners of your head and giggles at the remaining foolishness. i wish i was streamlined in those moments. blue. and i'm sure we're the only mammals with this built in buffoon-mode. the button's been mashed! the switch has been hit! i'm going to go drown myself, so, if anybody needs me i'll be in the tub. I sure wish i had some swimming goggles. i miss my mother, even though she's right down the hall. i miss jessi, too, i miss her more. Current Mood: and and and |
| Friday, August 11th, 2006 |
| 10:21 pm |
well....?
looking for a sensible face? you're not going to find it here. I find it hard to write daintily about people I have trouble being fond of. it's much easier to write loud and brash about the people that get on my nerves. i end up spending way to much time with the people that get on my nerves for the wrong reason. such ameatures never angry with him. rather angry at her. mostly angry at myself. in any case, i'm looking up, or at least to the left, which is better than down. ohio. iowa. athens, GA. leave it alone. |
| Wednesday, August 9th, 2006 |
| 1:12 pm |
"Education, for most people, means trying to lead the child to resemble the typical adult of his society... But for me, education means making creators... You have to make inventors, innovators, not conformists." ~ Jean Piaget i checked out Finnegans Wake from the library...not intending to read it. i had a SPECTACULAR dream... it seemed as if it had lasted all night. let's get together and save the world, and die in the process. |
| Wednesday, August 2nd, 2006 |
| 12:54 pm |
sheep/tiger/horse/cow/pig
this time it's really frantic... really shaken. the glass is really broken this time, not just cracked. and i'm just a fractured human, it's not like anything's missing, it's just that ideas aren't connecting and the erosion of time isn't helping the status. I don't like the feeling, but there's really nothing I can do about it. I can ask the priest, but even he doesn't know the right words to say. what is there left to do when you've done all that you can think of? sometimes the days can't go by fast enough, and sometimes they slip off too fast. "there's not enough room to fall through the cracks" i'll be seeing you around, i guess. Current Mood: you're home too early |
| Wednesday, July 26th, 2006 |
| 8:34 pm |
eyeball sauce
perfect. the touch of cold fingers on warm cheeks and finnaly warm eyelids. i like it best when you can feel the coolness permeate you're thinnest skin, as if the ice was resting on your open eyes.i'm tired and unevenly heated. concerned, human, weak, bothered. this is such a corporate buisness, such a fast food chain. pooh pooh |
| 8:04 pm |
the lace, the lamplight
that was just a bad angle. what do you want to hear? i don't know what to tell you. "hey, tell me, please...just don't desmiss it as a phase...." minutes. hang ups. static. don't worry about it, baby. Current Mood: ....as if it mattered.... |
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